i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
