no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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