Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
