We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Randomize
