He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
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