You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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