Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
