Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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