who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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