Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
