And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
