should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
