every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
