I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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