READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
