All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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