I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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