Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
