Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize