I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Just took my morning after pill in the library
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
