OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Boobs speak an international language.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize
