i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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