do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
