hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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