how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
