Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
