Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
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