you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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