You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
