She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
