READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
