just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
