The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Is her dick bigger than yours?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
