i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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