Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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