what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
