I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
