I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
