I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
