if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
