i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
