then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
