Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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