3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
