...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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