How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I said "one day" and that day is not today
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
