Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
