Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
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