MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
