Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
