In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
