the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
