so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
