Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
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