If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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