last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
