you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
