That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize