So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
